i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
