is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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