i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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