How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
