we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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