smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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