im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
