Pappa wants mamma naked
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
