laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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