At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
