he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
do nipples grow back?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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