Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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