I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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