Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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