If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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