I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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