Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
