Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
