I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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