Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
