oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
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Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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