All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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