well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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