I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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