I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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