I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I got inside last night via doggy door
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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