you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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