I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
