a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
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FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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