The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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