Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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