he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
