Yo dont text me then not text me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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