I hate all girls vehemently.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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