She said her name was "party"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
