Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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