Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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