I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize