Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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