he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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