Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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