hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
