ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
