I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
