I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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