There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
