tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
