He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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