put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
