i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize