bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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