your parents love me but you hate me
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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