i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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