I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
