Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
