Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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