that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
