i just wanna soil my oats bro
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
