Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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