He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
