"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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