I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
