I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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