sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
